Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You are a genius and a whore.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize