What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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