I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
