I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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