you have to choose: penises or morals?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
We need to get me chipped asap
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
