She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Mom said you looked used
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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