Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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