I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
