He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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