Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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