I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Randomize
