I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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