I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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