oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Barsexuality is the new black.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
