I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize