dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
