we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
He felt like a one man threesome
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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