We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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