her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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