my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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