Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
