she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
