u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
