i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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