You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
It's official drugs can't kill me
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
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