Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
