I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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