The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
