You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
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New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
