For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
