I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
