So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
