Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
