I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
