god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Randomize
