Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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