It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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