She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
This is my gift to your gina
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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