God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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