so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
