thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
