If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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