help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
It's shark week go big or go home
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
