I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
