so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
