Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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