Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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