So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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