He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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