I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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