i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
