let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
