the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
