I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
