RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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