If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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